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If anxiety feels like having a heart attack, then depression feels like having the flu. This past week and bit of last week, I was worried so much…how I was going pay my rent, my bills (like keeping my cell phone on), how I was going to pay off two parking tickets that totaled to $180 (I live in my school’s dorms), how I was going to get out of working with Lyft, how I was going pay my laptop (my laptop broke; it’s gonna cost me $300. I’m borrowing a laptop from my school), I worried if I was going to be on the street…yeah I’ve had a lot to worry about and now I  feel guilty about the time I have lost in order to take my state exam for my credential. So since Tuesday, I’ve been sleeping more, feeling more fatigued, body aches, eyes feeling puffy… It’s my fault…I shouldn’t have worried so much. Now I’m so tired….well I’m feeling better than before. I guess because I have my fan on and been putting on my aromatherapy candle (lavender mint) and just taking it easy. But I feel so bad that I’ve canceled on most of my friends as well as not returning any of the texts. They’ve been understanding so far, but it still sucks.

It’s been a long time since I’ve felt my depression like this. The last time I did was in 2010, the year after I graduated and the year after it was announced it was (officially) announced that the nation was going through a recession. It was really bad. I felt to weak to get up, every muscle ached like I was going through the flu…I even had sinus headaches. My face felt so tender. Ugh… Since I have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder and been taking anti-depressants while it has staved off my anxious and depressive disorders, it definitely has helped me with the physical effects of the depression and anxiety. But with all the worrying I’ve done and me not taking my medications lately. So my suggestion is please, please stay on your medication, don’t skip until further notice…until maybe your struggling with money like me.

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