‘We are not violent’: Those struggling with mental illness fight stigma, blame – al.com

‘We are not violent’: Those struggling with mental illness fight stigma, blame – al.com
— Read on www.al.com/news/2019/08/we-are-not-violent-those-struggling-with-mental-illness-fight-against-stigma-blame.html

The Power of Pets

Honestly, I would LOVE to own a pet, but due to finances, I can’t. Not to mention with me looking for work and working with the jobs I currents have, I wouldn’t be around to care for one. While cats (for some reason) are growing on me, I would love to own a dog. It’s just compared to cats (in my opinion) they are more likely to want to play with you and be petted.

The only picture I have of Max

I had a dog once. He was a golden retriever named Max. I got him when he was a puppy. He was the cutest little thing! I remember when he was smaller than my lap. Even as little as he was, he loved to be around people and give high fives. He was such a playful dog. And he made the perfect alarm clock. He’d run up the stairs to get into the room and lick my face to remind me it was time for his breakfast. I was never late to school. Then my dad took him away. Up till this day, I’ve always wanted to know what happened to him.

 

Puga in a wig

 

Then I met Puga. Puga is my boyfriend’s dog (she’s a pug). I call her my surrogate pet. I get to play with her without the responsibility. This dog is super smart though, it’s ridiculous. She can open an empty water bottle in less than 10 seconds, she always knows where her “safe spot” is when I chase her…heck she knows how to lure me out of the chair, just so that she can sit in it! She can look at me and wag her little cinnamon bun tail and I think she wants to play with me. Nope! Not so. The next thing you know she’s sitting in my place. You can also tell when she’s displeased too. You can tell her,for example, if she wants to go outside (the backyard) and she shows her teeth.

 

She’s giving “The Teeth”!

 

Regardless, she loves to be petted. But you know something? I love petting her too. It helps me relax. There’s nothing like caring for another living, making sure they are cared for and loved. It helps me to take my mind off of myself and my problems. My anxiety has dissipated, my depression has dissipated…it’s almost like a form of mindfulness keeping myself centered and in the here and now.

Owning or even just being around one is very therapeutic. I’ve always known how pets can help people put a smile on their face, but I didn’t know the science of pets do that. Pets can help people better their physical, mental and even social health. Pets helps children with autism use more language as well as develop social interactions. Petting, for example, dogs can help the person release hormones like serotonin, prolactin, and oxycontin to elevate mood (UCLA Health, n.d).

I know for me, I look forward to meeting Puga every week. Seeing her run all over the house due to the excitement of seeing me there. And I look forward to playing with her and petting her. Seeing her makes me forget about the anxieties that can take over my mind. And then when I have to leave my boyfriend and her and return to my room, I feel all the anxieties and depressed thoughts return to my mind as I prepare for the week ahead.

health20benefits

When my life becomes more financial stable, I will get a dog and have them sign up to be my therapy dog. I can take them to the stores so it would help me reduce my anxiety and PTSD. I’d be able to be more physically active. Since my sexual assault, I’ve always felt a bit of nervousness whenever I’m out. Having a pet would DEFINITELY help me reduce that.

Reference

UCLA Health. Animal-Assisted Therapy Findings. (n.d.). Retrieved from: https://www.uclahealth.org/pac/animal-assisted-therapy

 

 

 

 

Marianne Williamson Said Antidepressants Are Overprescribed For “Normal Human Despair”

“The twenties can be very hard. They’re not a mental illness. Divorce can be very difficult, losing a loved one, someone that you know died, someone left in a relationship and you’re heartbroken — tha
— Read on www.buzzfeednews.com/article/ryancbrooks/marianne-williamson-antidepressants

She’s a pretty good writer, but sheesh…I didn’t know how ignorant she can be…especially towards mental health.😒😑

Titans: Hank and Dawn (Part 2)

 

In the last post, we learned about Hank. This time we will learn about Dawn. Before Dawn sported the hero apparel, she was an accomplished Ballerina. In fact, she was able to perform a dance, when mother came over to visit her from England.

Minka Kelly as Dawn Granger

As she catching up with her mom, Marie Granger, she found out her dad was still being abusive to her. Each time Dawn tried to talk about her getting away from him, her mom made an excuse like how he wasn’t as bad as he was in the past and that he is “trying to change”. What Dawn’s mother is experiencing is called “Intimate Partner Violence”. Intimate Partner Violence or IPV describes physical sexual, or psychological harm by a current or former partner or spouse.

IPV doesn’t just affect women, it also affects men too. According to the Center of Disease Control (CDC) about 1 in 4 women and about 1 in 7 adult men revealing having had experience some form of physical violence from their intimate partner in their lifetime. So, if Dawn’s mom knows he’s abusive why did she make an excuse for him? It’s easy to say, how you would have done better, but it’s not that simple.

There are emotional and situational reason why victims like Dawn’s mom would stay with their abuser.

Emotional Factors include

  • Belief that the abusive partner will change because of his remorse and promises to stop battering
  • Fear of the abuser who threatens to kill the victim if abuse is reported to anyone
  • Lack of emotional support
  • Guilt over the failure of the relationship
  • Attachment to the partner
  • Fear of making major life changes
  • Feeling responsible for the abuse
  • Feeling helpless, hopeless and trapped
  • Belief that she is the only one who can help the abuser with his problems

Then there is also the situation factors

  • Economic dependence on the abuser
  • Fear of physical harm to self or children
  • Fear of emotional damage to the children over the loss of a parent, even if that parent is abusive
  • Fear of losing custody of the children because the abuser threatens to take the children if victim tries to leave
  • Lack of job skills
  • Social isolation and lack of support because abuser is often the victim’s only support system
  • Lack of information regarding domestic violence resources
  • belief that law enforcement will not take her seriously
  • Lack of alternative housing
  • Cultural or religious constraints

Marina Sirtis as Dawn’s mother, Marie Granger

From what it sounds like to me, Dawn’s mom believes that her husband will “change” and will stop abusing her. Unfortunately that doesn’t happen. From what I remember, she never mentioned, for example, admitting how he has hurt her or stopped making excuses and blaming…nothing. To be honest, I was hoping she wouldn’t return to him, but unfortunately, it seemed like she already made up her mind to return.

I remember feeling disappointed when my mom returned to my dad once a long time ago…like Dawn, it was hard to see my mom go back with my dad. I felt like mom deserved a better life than to return with my dad. He never stopped making excuses and blaming, he never took responsibility of his behavior, he never showed respectful, kind, and supportive behavior….nothing. It hurt me to see my mom not just hurt physically, but emotionally as well.

So how can you help a loved one who is undergoing domestic abuse? According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, loved ones should:

  • Acknowledge that they are in a very difficult and scary situation, be supportive and listen
  • Be non-judgmental
  • If they end the relationship, continue to be supportive of them
  • Encourage them to participate in activities in activities outside of the relationship with friends and family
  • Help them develop a safety plan
  • Encourage them to talk to people who can provide help and guidance
  • Remember that you cannot “rescue” them.

I provide this knowledge, because domestic violence isn’t easy to see or experience and I understand how it’s easy to become judgmental towards someone, especially if it is someone you love, because you can’t understand why they would continue to put themselves in an abusive relationship. All you can do is love them and be there for them when they need it.

References

Center for Disease Control. (2018).Intimate Partner Violence. Retrieved from: https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/index.html

Domestic Violence Roundtable. (n.d.) Why Do Abusers Stay? Retrieved from: https://www.domesticviolenceroundtable.org/abuse-victims-stay.html

The National Domestic Violence Hotline (n.d.) Help a Friend or Family Member. Retrieved from: https://www.thehotline.org/help/help-for-friends-and-family/

 

Counselor Deanna Troi

 

 

 

Star Trek: The Next Generation is very interesting and fun show! I’ve heard of this show since it’s last TV airing in 1994. And I’ve been fortunate it meet Wil Wheaton and his wife at Wonder Con about 2 years ago. But to have enjoyed this show and it’s characters after only 3 episodes (a rare feat) is amazing.

From left to right: Wil Wheaton’s wife, Anne Wheaton, me and Wil Wheaton himself

Anyhow this post is about one of the characters on TNG, Counselor Deanna Troi. From what I know so far, Troi is counselor to Captain Jean-Luc Picard on the USS Enterprise (NCC-1701-D) and seems to possess the power of Empathy. Not just the ability empathize, but an psionic ability to sense people feelings. It’s CRAZY how she knows the feelings of others:

The creature is filled with rage—undirected, unfocused rage. When he confronts it, his guard goes down, because he’s feeling it instead of suppressing it. Acknowledging his needs makes him vulnerable.

Star Trek: The Next Generation S1:E24: Skin of Evil

Sounds like what my therapists have all said…acknowledge your feelings…be more vulnerable. Troi can feel the emotions her—alien and human alike–even as from another ship. What I like about this show is that not only does it feature a quirky crew, but in spite of how advance in time this show takes place in, there is a immense respect that the crew have for Troi. In the real world—2019—people who are empaths/highly sensitive people are made fun of. The crew of the Enterprise looks to her to and how they are to relate to other humans and various alien species so they can make logical solutions in how to appropriately relate to them. And I don’t blame them. You’d want to have an idea of what or who you are dealing with before engaging in an unknown territory or people.

Fun fact: Ms. Sirtis voiced Demona in Disney’s Gargoyles.

Fun fact: Ms. Sirtis also voiced Queen Bee in “Young Justice”

It was cool seeing how Counselor Troi was respected. In this time, in this real world empaths like myself aren’t taken seriously. Whether people call us “philosophers” or “deep thinkers” or “sensitive”, we’re rarely asked for our thoughts on a given issue. I feel in my opinion, most people are too emotional. They react first, then think later, too late. However if you see on the show, the characters don’t react on their emotions or even the emotions of others. Rather, they use emotions as means of developing self-awareness among new environments, situations, and people to then in turn make logical decisions or actions in such events.

One of my favorite characters in the series!

You don’t stop having emotions, but instead regulate them, so they don’t regulate you. So I can see why Counselor Troi is an important asset to the Enterprise. I look forward to continue watching the adventures that Troi and rest of the crew will have in the TNG series.