Therapy: What To Expect From Your Therapist (Especially On Your First Time)



As as of right now, I am attending three therapy sessions: Celebrate Recovery at my church, therapy at my school, and therapy outside of school. The one I am seeing is outside of school is mainly for me to deal with relationship issues and overcome my sexual assault experience and therapy in my school is mostly to deal with my anxiety and depression. Then there’s is my sessions with my psychologist at school, where I can also get more prescription on my meds, but that’s like one a month.

Yeah I have my hands full with all three of those sessions in addition to student-teaching, going to school and work. Whew! But I’m happy, because I’m able to have the help I need to get through the week. And I feel like I’m getting what I need emotionally and spirituality too, because my spirituality has helped me keep me going in spite of my mental illnesses. I’m learning about relationships through the relationships I’m developing in all those sessions, which then is helping me have a better relationship with myself as well.

So how did I happen to get such wonderful people? Well…to be honest…luck and trial and error. I’ve gone through 5 therapists and I’ve been to a previous Celebrate Recovery event at a church I use to attend, so I’ve learned what I’ve wanted and not wanted in my trials of recovery. My…how I shall I put this…last to third therapist (???) was a good at CBT and helped out a lot on that, but what I didn’t like was how he didn’t seem to take in mind how much God meant a lot to me just because he didn’t believe so much in God (even though he came from a Jewish background. Go figure.) Then if I were to bring up my relationships with guys in how they treat me, he’d kinda get offended, like I was offending him, which was weird. Sometimes, I think back on it, I wished I had switched to another therapist or at least got a female therapist instead.

If you’ve been in an awkward situation with a therapist that doesn’t mean you have to stop going to therapy, but rather change your therapist. I know the change is inconvenient because perhaps your current therapist was better than your previous therapist or it took you forever ever to find the most “decent” therapist. So how do you know if a therapist is right for you? How do you know if they are crossing the line (although that’s what  you do in therapy basically)? These are the things I did not like from my previous therapists:

  • Not Being Sensitive to my beliefs or Background
  • Checking the clock too much
  • Imposing religious, spiritual, political or social beliefs—In this case it was more of social beliefs; not believing in monogamous relationships, recommending me to a dating website (that ended up leading me to my assaulter) when perhaps, as much as I wanted, wasn’t ready to be in a relationship yet.
  • Not understanding what I want—When I was an undergrad, I told my therapist I felt something was wrong with me, but he didn’t seem think anything was wrong. Yeah he looked as the DSM 4 (yeah, that was a while ago), but he didn’t give me any tests that suggested I may have had a major depressive disorder and general anxiety disorder. I didn’t get diagnosed with those by another mental health professional–this time a psychiatrist—several years later. This would have saved me a lot of time.

My two new therapists have really helped me out a lot, perhaps in more ways than my previous therapists have. They are pretty much the opposite of the previous therapists… well maybe my third to last therapist did challenge me and did help me learn as well, but what I did appreciate from my latest therapists is that they showed acceptance and compassion. It helps that they don’t just see me as a patient or a patient that they’re using for their counseling degree (most of the therapists I’ve seen are at schools), but as a person too and it helps me (indirectly) learn how good relationships form. So if you don’t have a good relationship with a therapist, then like any other person in your life, you can always leave.

Below are some links that can give you advice on the good traits and bad traits of a therapist whether you meet them in person, online, over the phone  or through text. I hope these articles will prove most helpful for you! At least it will save you more time. I had to learn the hard and long way!

4 Steps to Finding the Right Therapist for You and Your Anxiety

25 Signs of a Bad Therapist: You Deserve Better

Here’s What Makes a Good Therapist: 17 Signs to Look For

How Do I Know If My Therapist Is Effective?


Letitia Wright On 'Black Panther' And Faith |

Speaking with ESSENCE’s ‘Yes, Girl!,’ Wright got real about how God guided her through a dark time and right to one of Marvel’s biggest films.Speaking with ESSENCE’s ‘Yes, Girl!,’ Wright got real about how God guided her through a dark time and right to one of Marvel’s biggest films.
— Read on

Like Minded Magazine

Back in August, I was interviewed for the online magazine, “Like Minded Magazine” that showcases the many stories of “like minded” individuals who combat their mental illness everyday. In this issue of the magazine, I discuss of course myself, how I live with anxiety and depression,  treatment being an African American living with mental illness and of course my blog. I also provide many national and international sites for those living with mental illness.

What I like about the magazine, was it put a “face” to mental illness. Too often, society thinks that people who live mental illness are “mentally deranged” and use it to account for violence as seen on the news. However, that’s not at all true. Many of us are just as “normal” as the next person…we just happen to live with mental illness.

I was to show this last year, but I had so much things on last August, it slipped my mind. Anyways, here’s a snippet of my interview with “Like Minded Magazine”.

For more on the interview, click on the link below:

Like Minded Magazine-Interview

My Mental Health Progress

I don’t know…one minute I’m doing great! Then in 5 minutes I feel like crap….30 minutes later, I’m able to build up contentment again. Then a “gray cloud” appears, I take a warm shower. I feel fresh and alive! Then…I feel like crap again and don’t get me started about work! I have to ACTUALLY talk to people! Anything, but that! I’m not in the mood. Few passengers later I feel a little better. I see how much I made…yes! Oh, heck yeah! I’m happy! I come home after long drives, my back aches…my head it spins! Anxiety is about me! I don’t know what to do! Will I be able to make enough money throughout the week to pay my bills? What job is there that will grant me flexibility while I pursue my credential??? Serving won’t do me any good, because I herniated my lower back from bussing now 6 years ago. Sitting all day driving already hurts and exhausts me. Student-teaching will begin soon and hopefully so will my time as a tutor. I’m at a loss on what do, once I’m in my mind trying to figure how deal with the struggles in my life…but that’s when unfortunately I lose the struggle to deal with my mental health. I become more withdrawn from associating with my friends, hopeless comes when looking for jobs only to find I’m not qualified even for the most humble ones. I’m OVERqualified, because of my resume caters more toward education. My experience as a hostess doesn’t seem to interest any employer in the restaurant business. Perhaps because it’s been six since I’ve been one??? I don’t know what employers are looking for nowdays? Is going to school for my credential worthwhile, while I struggle to pay my bills??? I only have four more months till I finish… My back begins to tighten which isn’t good for my herniated back. Chest pain envelops…I look for my inhale to help reduce it. The hunger that once embellished my stomach, no longer are there, because well…I lost my appetite.

This is but a sample of what I go through when trying to regain my mental health. It’s hard but it isn’t worth losing to.