When Leaving The House

Yup! There are THOSE days!😂


Song of the Socially Anxious Mermaid


Well I’ve finish my finals and I have finished my special education credential! It was 5 years in the making and it took me 3 years to complete! I am very grateful for the help and support I received from loved ones, my teachers and school staff!

It was very trying with all the things I have gone through, but it is worth it. But I’m not done…I have to pass a test called that I MUST pass called the RICA exam. It’s a test in California required (usually taken by teacher candidates pursuing the special ed credential) to get the credential. I have a job offer, but I must pass this test first. Currently now I’m in temporary housing, the last place didn’t make me safe anymore so I’ll be needing the focus to pass this test and get a job, so please pardon my absences on this blog.

It doesn’t help either that my anxiety and depression are also affected by lack of housing and finances. Not to mention resorting to a drivershare job where there are more chances of sexual harassment. But what else can I do? I’ve put in applications for other jobs but until then, I have to do something until I even get called for an interview. And that’s another reason why I must past this test: for financial, physical and emotional security. Right now I’m in a safe place with safe people, even though it’s gonna cost me $900 (for three months) just for this summer.

The last place I lived wasn’t safe. One time I heard gunshots go off at a birthday party, overheard a group of people beating up some guy (or at least that’s what it sounded like; the screams woke me up 2 o’ clock in the morning), then the landlord’s son brings shady people to his house—like one time he had a shady friend who still uses hard drugs like ecstasy and he told me his friend told him he wanted to buy a gun while he was as high as a kite. Not mention the son smokes weed, which in my opinion either smell like garbage or someone who crapped in their pants. It smells awful and I often got headaches. Now, I can tell the difference between synthetic weed, real weed, edibles, and bong—ugh! That one smelled the worst! But for him he used it as a substitute for all the hard drugs he use to take. Then another time, he and ex-girlfriend threw out my spaghetti that was in MY pot to make their own meal, while he has own pots to use—only because HIS family’s pots were dirty. I was done…I couldn’t take it anymore.

It’s sad now you have to pay a great deal for better housing and if you don’t, you pay the cheaper and perhaps unsafe housing. It’s unfair and people shouldn’t have to put themselves through to make such choices just to have a roof over their heads. This was me for about 6 months.

I was supposed to live with my brother through housing but it didn’t workout, so I’m living in a temporary housing. I never thought I’d face homelessness again. The last I did, I was 10 and me, my siblings and my mom were living in a women’s shelter to get away from dad. However, if I pass this test I won’t have to go through homelessness again and I’ll be able to live the live I deserve.

And don’t get me wrong…I’m scared as hell I won’t be able to pass the test and I will have undergo homelessness until I pass the test. It’s my worst fear…

I will do my best to update the blog, but I’ll be in the real world trying to study and finally get the security I’ve always wanted.

Me Right Now…

Sorry for being MIA. I’ve been really busy juggling school, student teaching and work and having a bit fun. Trust me I NEEDED it. It’s been one heck of crazy month. I’ll fill you later.

Wonder Con


Wil Weaton and Ann Weaton (bottom right)

I can’t wait! This weekend is WonderCon! In case you don’t know WonderCon is the sister convention of ComicCon International. It’s not the most well known convention, but that’s the great part of it! It’s not as crowded and there are better chances of being to able to meet and greet your favorite stars, comic book artists and authors. It’s very intimate.

Originally it took place in San Fran, but because it’s convention was being remodeled back in 2012/2013, it relocated to the Anaheim Convention Center. Since then it has been a big hit especially being that it’s right across from the Disneyland Resort.

What I like is that I’m able to be around my people—my fellow geeks/nerds—and not have to worry about the real world for the next 3 days. It’s the biggest thing I look forward to all year, because it’s the only time I really, really have fun, because it’s one of the few things I can afford. The next best thing to sleep. Not to mention, I juggle school, work, student-teaching all year long, why shouldn’t I treat myself for all the hard work I do? I am hoping though that one day, I will be able to dress up, but it costs too much. I might as well buy real clothes, especially the fact I work from paycheck to paycheck.

I haven’t been to the main convention—Comic Con- since 2009, because basically now days they do a raffle ticket for those. Back in 2009, you could just pick a day or days like you would now for Wonder Con. Comic Con nowdays seems to be dictated by the big movie corporations and just seem to bring in more people now more than ever and now it’s just crazy crowded! Attendees who’ve I’ve talked to in WonderCon, said a long time ago Comic Con was like WonderCon when it wasn’t as crowded, tickets were cheaper, and it wasn’t— in a sense—by big movie industries. But I don’t know…I feel like slowly it’s gonna turn into Comic Con: The sequel. I just feel like Comic Con now days is more for those who have money and/or posers…you know…people who just said they went there and met celebrities, yet they will NEVER admit they’ve been to a comic type convention…or those same people who made fun of your obsession in your favorite tv shows, movies, books and/or comic books. 😛

I tried getting into the exclusive signed lottery (which is done usually onsite) for example “Constantine” and “Black Lightning”, but I didn’t get ANY of them them!!!! This is going to be the first year I won’t be able to meet and greet any of the actors from my favorite tv shows.😭😭😭 What the hell Comic Con International?!?!

Well I guess there are some panels I look forward to attending to…and I’ll be hanging out with some new friends I met at AnaCon…but I’m too terrified! What if things don’t work out well between us? Think good thoughts, think good thoughts!

As the picture above, the pictures below are from last year’s WonderCon. Enjoy!


Cast of Prison Break, Season 5 (Dominic Purcell and Wentworth Miller; who have featured in “The Flash” and “Legends of Tomorrow)

Cast of Gotham

Pop Culture Coalition featuring Brandon Routh from Legends of Tomorrow


I love sleeping. Why you ask? It’s not because I’m lazy, but it’s the only time I’m not overthinking or I don’t feel horrible. I’m also not thinking of all the zillions of tasks I have to complete. Whether I’m dreaming or just sound asleep, me not thinking about what happened yesterday or what will happen tomorrow, is wonderful…just on sleeping. Well except…right now.

I have A LOT of things on my mind right now. Contemplating on the things I haven’t completed, like getting ready to move. Last week was spring break, but I had so much being done! Like, for example, there was a teacher job at my school, so prior to the Spring Break, I have been working on an assortment of cover letters and resumes for the top 10 school districts I wanted to work for…in addition in gathering my tax papers and Uber mileages (that took forever) so I can get my taxes prepared (my school was offering to file my taxes for free, but it’s first come, first serve). Oi that was a lot of work! Then the day of the teacher job fair came, one of the school districts I looked into told me about their job fair that took place this past weekend, but said they would hire on the spot! Sure the school district was an hour and 10 minutes away, but hey…any place (that was still in So Cal) that was willing to hire on the spot, I was going to be there! And guess what I did!So excited! After two interviews, I got the spot was just super amazing. But you know something? It wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be. And the funny thing was that it was my childhood hardships was basically what got guaranteed me the job… me being first generation Nigerian and learning how juggle both my Nigerian heritage and my American life, my mom, siblings and I living in a women’s shelter after mom being abused by my dad, then my siblings and I being in a children’s home, while my mom had to find m a place to live in order for us to be back with her again… I guess God wasn’t joking when He said He would turn our ashes to beauty. Most of children in that district had similar backgrounds to my own, which solidified my chance of getting. But…in order for my chance to be “truly” solidified, I have to pass my RICA before August 1st, which I will take after I finish my teaching program in May. So it’s like I’m unofficially hired….well like that doesn’t put any pressure on me. So yeah…right now I’m terrified. I took the RICA last year and I failed it. So then what if I fail it? Am I destined to repeat this hardship for another entire year, because God knows I can’t do another year of doing Uber or something. Do you know how much I made last year? $12,000. That is including Uber and the other 4 jobs I had, but it’s also that low because I’ve been attending school. But even without school, I would made about $18,000. I know that because that was how much I made in 2015…when I had to work three jobs. There is no way, I’m going to repeat that foolishness from this year on, because that shit is hard work!Then this past Monday, I made the mistake of eating around midnight I made the mistake of eating an omelette burrito stuffed with hash browns, ham, sausage, and bacon, topped off with avocado. It was great, but not before going to bed and lying down on my stomach (that’s how I sleep). So then later that Monday, I did student-teaching and oh man was THAT unbearable! I was bloated, nauseated, going to bathroom too much…gassy… I eventually went home but it was hard to accomplish ANYTHING and at night, it was worse so then I REALLY couldn’t sleep! Although I’m better, I feel like I’m behind for the things I said I was going to do, so now I’m feeling guilty which is why I’m up this early morning… The thought of being behind is throwing me off and I feel like I’m at square one relearning how to deal with anxiety and depression. Oh…in addition to other assignments I have to complete before Thursday, I’m going to WonderCon this weekend with new friends I met at the AnaCon this past February and I’m terrified of meeting them! I’m really psyching myself in all the ways it could go bad, because well…anxiety. So yeah that’s why I’m up early this morning with the one thing I’m not getting…sleep.