This Is What I REALLY Need


No Way! I SHOULD Have Thought of That!🙄😒😑

Whether it’s family or friends,co-workers or some random strangers on the street, it’s always frustrating when people think mental illness or some other sensitive topic people can’t even fathom living through (especially when it’s not a problem they are no longer going through or they are able to live better with the help of other people), say stupid sh*t like that. I mean jeez…if they didn’t want to hear it in the first place, they might as well say they have better things to do. You can already tell bringing up a topic like your mental health issue is already irritating them, but… because they don’t want to appear like an ass–too late–they end up saying crap like “stop thinking about it”. Well yeah no sh*t Sherlock. Thanks for the reminder.

It’s more frustrating though when its family, friends or some other person you have respect for. I mean Ha! They think they’re frustrated when they see you bring up or live with your health issues? Why try looking from my side and seeing when you are the one going through your health issues and the people you care about don’t seem to care about your problems (especially when you would at the drop of hat be them for theirs)? Those two things frustrate me.

From my experiences, even for people who have gone through some sort physical or emotional ailment, you feel them still trying to say “Well, I did it? Why can’t she do it? What is she looking for a pity party?” I lose it when I even sense this sh*t from people. I mean what the hell made people think I want a damn pity party??? If I “appear” that way well, yeah! That’s why fool I told you I have a major depressive disorder!!!! It’s freakin’ chronic! If I appear desperate…well yeah! I don’t want my mental health disorder to get in the way of living a great and productive life,  so yeah I’m gonna pretty desperate for freakin’ answers! I mean, you can’t ask people how can you live with a mental illness, the same way you can ask  people how you can you prepare for…I don’t know…college! While we’ve come along way from how we view and talk about mental illness, but we still have a long way to go.

I get it that when you get over a physical or emotional ailment…you get this amazing sense of pride from overcoming it after the many trials and now…you feel you’ve reached this sense of realization of life or people.  But when I come across people like that…they are such jerks! It’s kinda like when you overhear a politician’s life story of living in housing when he was growing up and now they wanna raise the rent of those who live in housing throughout the nation. Like what the f**k???  I don’t get that.

Even I myself when I first got diagnosed with my mental health disorder, I remember telling a friend of mine what medicines and therapy interventions helped me. The thing was, I was so caught up on how happy I was of my own mental health recovery, I didn’t take into consideration their feelings and just the fact, they were seeking mental health treatment in the first place and most importantly, they just wanted someone to talk to. Yeah their treatment wasn’t the same treatments I used, but it was giving them what they needed to make their own successful recovery and they have been doing pretty well because of it.

Since then I’ve learned to be careful that I don’t do that. Everyone’s recovery–whether physical or mental—is different. Everyone’s illness —even when its low, because don’t know their full story–is different. What you don’t want to take your anger out on someone who is honestly working hard at being a success in their recovery, because you don’t know what else they are going through other than just the treatment itself. I remember when I was college, a lot of people judged me, because I was seeking mental health treatment or at least knew I was “off”, but had no idea that not only was I working and going to school, taking care of my mom who had undergone several surgeries and divorcing my dad and I was taking care of my siblings ( I was basically a parent, before most of my own peers became their own parents). It’s easy to judge when are you’re only looking from the inside out (which isn’t always a bad thing sometimes, but in such times… not a good time) or invalidating other peoples experiences, because of how well your life turned out. Be thoughtful, be kind.