Tag: NSVRC

R. Kelly, Part 6: Victim Shaming

Dr Luke’s Lawyer: “But again, there are people that are falsely accused of rape, aren’t there? You think there has never been a false accusation of rape?”

Lady Gaga: How about all of the women that are accused of being liars and how she was slut shamed in front of the world, how about that?

Lady Gaga fighting for Kesha against her former music producer Dr. LukeFrom the online article: How Can Sexual Abuse Survivors get Justice When the System fails them?

 

I don’t really get the whole thing about victim shaming. No…it’s not that I don’t know what it is, but rather..why does society blame the victim? Why does society seem to crucify the people who need the most help? The victims who presented themselves on the Lifetime show, “Surviving R. Kelly” and even on the Dateline Special, “R.Kelly: Accused” are viewed pretty much as TV whores….women who are vying for their 15 minutes of fame and to gain money. However, after even listening to clips of their stories, I believed them, especially when they talked how it affected their lives, because I know how my incident affected mine.

So in a definition context, what is victim shaming? According to Wikipedia (I just loved how they perfectly defined it), “Victim Shaming or victim blaming “occurs when the victim of a crime or any wrongful act is held entirely or partially at fault for the harm that befalls them.” Why is that? It’s because compared to a robbery, the victim is more to their assaulter.

Title IX Political Cartoon Analysis

Here are some other reasons why people disbelieve survivors (Whiting, 2019):

  1. The Myth of the Evil Perpetrator
  2. Wishing the World Was Safe
  3. The Wrong Kind of Victim
  4. Confusion and Self-Blame

The Myth of the Evil Perpetrator

This is guy that everyone understates. Why? One could be his socioeconomic status…meaning he’s rich….he’s successful. He has an outstanding reputation…the guy that everyone loves…the guy everyone knows and trusts. He’s the “nice guy” and this “nice guy” is either good looking or they are someone you’d even trust your children with.They’d never do such heinous things.

Example:

Larry Nassar, the now disgraced USA Gymnastics national team doctor and osteopathic physician for Michigan State University, was someone who well-known for being generous, selfless, and committed. He was known for his goofy charm and steadfast service, that when the young girls tried to report his actions , their cries were often ignored. And it didn’t help either since he was known for “women’s pelvic issues” which was helpful for common injuries that were faced in gymnastics, he would rebuke the girl’s cries of his sexual advances by saying they misunderstood his “technique”.

Wishing the World Was Safe

I guess for some people ignorance really is bliss for some people while still having this “I could have seen it a mile a way” attitude. Well, of course they could. If after I’ve heard someone story without having being in the situation myself,  of course, I would have seen it coming. Researchers call this the “hindsight effect.” In one study, research participants read different versions of a story. One group of participant read a version where a character was raped at the end, while the other group head the netural ending. The first group displayed a bias toward their character after picking up on clues from the story hence leading towards the “I knew it all along” bias where the listening audience  may make the situation being told them “predictable” or “easy” when really…. it wasn’t.

Example:

In Mississippi, a woman was raped on a Biloxi Bay Bridge when she went out running. Even though she reported the assault and was treated and tested local hospital, people still had something to say about the incident: “I would not run alone that late at night, especially being a woman. Go during daylight or with a running buddy” and “It’s dark at  6 p.m. what was was she even doing alone walking on the bridge?”

The Wrong Kind of Victim

Or what is called, “ideal victim” is where the victim must fit these five characteristics:

  1. Weak/vulnerable
  2. Involved in a respectable activity at the time of victimization
  3. Blameless in all aspects of the interaction
  4. Victimized by an obvious offender
  5.  Someone who does not know the offender

Example: If a person fights back, is not dressing in the right way, is intoxicated or if the accused is someone they know, their story is more likely to be questioned or doubted

4. Confusion and Self-Blame

Here the victim may either accept that the blame their perpetrator is placing on them or feel a deep shame for allowing the abuse to keep happening or for being at the wrong place or for not getting away.

Examples:

One of Larry Nassar’s early victims, Larissa Boyce, while trusting in her coach who found her claim upsetting, then was told by her coach, that if she reported about the incident it would have “very serious consequences” for both Nassar and herself. Terrified at this possibility, Larissa end up eventually crying and apologizing to Nassar, saying it was a “misunderstanding and all her fault”.

So, how can people  know what sexual assault is? Educate themselves. It’s as School House Rocky says, because:

Image result for schoolhouse rock knowledge is power gif
Sorry had to put a lighthearted gif, to such a tough topic. And I don’t know about you, but Schoolhouse Rock always put a smile on my face 😀

Alright, so what sites could help people better under sexual assault? Take a look at the sites below:

No More

NSVRC

Planned Parenthood

RAINN

Reach Out (Australia)

The Survivors Trust (UK)

Victims Connect

Victims of Crime

Victims Support (UK)

1 in 6

If you live outside of the U.S. and know of any anti-sexual assault organiation in your nation, if you can message me, so I can put in this post. Thank you!

References

“How Denial and Victim Blaming Keep Sexual Assault Hidden”. (2019). Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-lies-and-conflict/201901/how-denial-and-victim-blaming-keep-sexual-assault-hidden

Victim Blaming. (n.d.) Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victim_blaming

More Readings

Amber Heard: I Spoke Up Against Sexual Violence and Faced Our Culture’s Wrath

Ex-Baylor Frat President Indicted On 4 Counts of Sexual Assault Won’t Go To Prison

The Veil of Silence is Lifted for Black Women Thanks to R. Kelly Docuseries

The Hearing That Forced The World To Listen To Larry Nassar’s Survivors

Why Do Sexual Assault Victims Wait So Long To Speak Out? Take A Look At The Comments Section

#MeToo: Standing Firm Together | National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC)

Recently we wrote a blog on black men and their thoughts on the #MeToo movement, the intersections of race and sexual violence, and how the movement has affected black folks. While writing that piece, we came across a video about Ciaspora, a block chain company for reporting sexual assault, created by students attending Texas A& M University. We posed some of the same questions from our previous blog to the Ciaspora Executive Team: Gentill Abdulla, Urel Djiogan, Princewill Imouokhome, and Michael Jordan, in hopes of getting their perspectives on sexual violence.
— Read on www.nsvrc.org/blogs/metoo-standing-firm-together