Tag: R. Kelly

R. Kelly, Part 6: Victim Shaming

Dr Luke’s Lawyer: “But again, there are people that are falsely accused of rape, aren’t there? You think there has never been a false accusation of rape?”

Lady Gaga: How about all of the women that are accused of being liars and how she was slut shamed in front of the world, how about that?

Lady Gaga fighting for Kesha against her former music producer Dr. LukeFrom the online article: How Can Sexual Abuse Survivors get Justice When the System fails them?


I don’t really get the whole thing about victim shaming. No…it’s not that I don’t know what it is, but rather..why does society blame the victim? Why does society seem to crucify the people who need the most help? The victims who presented themselves on the Lifetime show, “Surviving R. Kelly” and even on the Dateline Special, “R.Kelly: Accused” are viewed pretty much as TV whores….women who are vying for their 15 minutes of fame and to gain money. However, after even listening to clips of their stories, I believed them, especially when they talked how it affected their lives, because I know how my incident affected mine.

So in a definition context, what is victim shaming? According to Wikipedia (I just loved how they perfectly defined it), “Victim Shaming or victim blaming “occurs when the victim of a crime or any wrongful act is held entirely or partially at fault for the harm that befalls them.” Why is that? It’s because compared to a robbery, the victim is more to their assaulter.

Title IX Political Cartoon Analysis

Here are some other reasons why people disbelieve survivors (Whiting, 2019):

  1. The Myth of the Evil Perpetrator
  2. Wishing the World Was Safe
  3. The Wrong Kind of Victim
  4. Confusion and Self-Blame

The Myth of the Evil Perpetrator

This is guy that everyone understates. Why? One could be his socioeconomic status…meaning he’s rich….he’s successful. He has an outstanding reputation…the guy that everyone loves…the guy everyone knows and trusts. He’s the “nice guy” and this “nice guy” is either good looking or they are someone you’d even trust your children with.They’d never do such heinous things.


Larry Nassar, the now disgraced USA Gymnastics national team doctor and osteopathic physician for Michigan State University, was someone who well-known for being generous, selfless, and committed. He was known for his goofy charm and steadfast service, that when the young girls tried to report his actions , their cries were often ignored. And it didn’t help either since he was known for “women’s pelvic issues” which was helpful for common injuries that were faced in gymnastics, he would rebuke the girl’s cries of his sexual advances by saying they misunderstood his “technique”.

Wishing the World Was Safe

I guess for some people ignorance really is bliss for some people while still having this “I could have seen it a mile a way” attitude. Well, of course they could. If after I’ve heard someone story without having being in the situation myself,  of course, I would have seen it coming. Researchers call this the “hindsight effect.” In one study, research participants read different versions of a story. One group of participant read a version where a character was raped at the end, while the other group head the netural ending. The first group displayed a bias toward their character after picking up on clues from the story hence leading towards the “I knew it all along” bias where the listening audience  may make the situation being told them “predictable” or “easy” when really…. it wasn’t.


In Mississippi, a woman was raped on a Biloxi Bay Bridge when she went out running. Even though she reported the assault and was treated and tested local hospital, people still had something to say about the incident: “I would not run alone that late at night, especially being a woman. Go during daylight or with a running buddy” and “It’s dark at  6 p.m. what was was she even doing alone walking on the bridge?”

The Wrong Kind of Victim

Or what is called, “ideal victim” is where the victim must fit these five characteristics:

  1. Weak/vulnerable
  2. Involved in a respectable activity at the time of victimization
  3. Blameless in all aspects of the interaction
  4. Victimized by an obvious offender
  5.  Someone who does not know the offender

Example: If a person fights back, is not dressing in the right way, is intoxicated or if the accused is someone they know, their story is more likely to be questioned or doubted

4. Confusion and Self-Blame

Here the victim may either accept that the blame their perpetrator is placing on them or feel a deep shame for allowing the abuse to keep happening or for being at the wrong place or for not getting away.


One of Larry Nassar’s early victims, Larissa Boyce, while trusting in her coach who found her claim upsetting, then was told by her coach, that if she reported about the incident it would have “very serious consequences” for both Nassar and herself. Terrified at this possibility, Larissa end up eventually crying and apologizing to Nassar, saying it was a “misunderstanding and all her fault”.

So, how can people  know what sexual assault is? Educate themselves. It’s as School House Rocky says, because:

Image result for schoolhouse rock knowledge is power gif
Sorry had to put a lighthearted gif, to such a tough topic. And I don’t know about you, but Schoolhouse Rock always put a smile on my face 😀

Alright, so what sites could help people better under sexual assault? Take a look at the sites below:

No More


Planned Parenthood


Reach Out (Australia)

The Survivors Trust (UK)

Victims Connect

Victims of Crime

Victims Support (UK)

1 in 6

If you live outside of the U.S. and know of any anti-sexual assault organiation in your nation, if you can message me, so I can put in this post. Thank you!


“How Denial and Victim Blaming Keep Sexual Assault Hidden”. (2019). Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-lies-and-conflict/201901/how-denial-and-victim-blaming-keep-sexual-assault-hidden

Victim Blaming. (n.d.) Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victim_blaming

More Readings

Amber Heard: I Spoke Up Against Sexual Violence and Faced Our Culture’s Wrath

Ex-Baylor Frat President Indicted On 4 Counts of Sexual Assault Won’t Go To Prison

The Veil of Silence is Lifted for Black Women Thanks to R. Kelly Docuseries

The Hearing That Forced The World To Listen To Larry Nassar’s Survivors

Why Do Sexual Assault Victims Wait So Long To Speak Out? Take A Look At The Comments Section

R. Kelly, Part 5: Misconception of Fake Rape Accusations and Who It REALLY Affects

It is a very scary time for young men in America, where you can be guilty of something you may not be guilty of. This is a very, very–this is a very difficult time. What’s happening here has much more to do than even the appointment of a Supreme Court justice.

Donald Trump



That gif represented my reaction of his statement. In fact, couldn’t help but to burst out laughing. It was comical! How do you think Black families feel every day, when their young men go out their door. Hell…I’m scared for my little brother everyday. I always tell him to be careful where he goes. And I’m NOT talking about ghetto place in cities, I’m talking about the rich cities who may mistake him for another Black man who committed a crime in their neighborhood and he ends up being sent to jail and locked up for crimes he didn’t do. Or if he got shot by the police. It doesn’t help either that his friends who are mostly non-black won’t understand those fears, because well…society accepts them and embrace them, because they look “non-threatening”…I’m not saying they are threatening, but because it’s assumed that people who aren’t Black aren’t threatening. So I am always telling him to BE careful where he goes.

Image result for Trump calling mexicans rapists gif

So for Trump to say this is laughable. You might say, “Well now that he says that, I have to be twice as careful, due to the #METOO movement.” Yeah…it’s still going not going change for young Black men anytime soon. Then again this was the same guy who not long ago called, mexicans rapists. So this question may come to mind who are the people who are more likely to be accused of rape? Black men.


According to a study done by Gross, Possley, and Stephens of the National Registry of Exonerations, a Black prisoner serving time for sexual assault is three and a half more likely to be innocent than a white sexual assault convict. Black sexual assault exonerees received much long prison sentences than white sexual assault exonerees spent on average almost 4 1/2 years longer before they were exonerated. Not to mention they make up half of sexual assaults with eyewitness misidentificaiton that led to exoneration.

Exonerations By Race and Crime
Source: National Registry of Exoneration

So am not I saying R.Kelly didn’t sexually abuse those girls. No. He did. I’m just saying that it is mostly Black men who are the one’s who are more likely to be accused of rape and again like I mentioned in the previous post, only like 6%-8% of rapes are fake. So yes society is just freaking out about such a small percentage, while all the while, saying victims are making up their assault or doing it to make cash, for fame, or revenge. Again let me be clear…all the money in the world will never get the person back you were before. Then you may ask “Why then they did not report it to the police the first time it happened?” or “What took them so long to report?” Look in the next part of the my post:

R.Kelly, Part 6: Victim Shaming


Gross, S., Possley, M, and Stephens, K. (2017). Race and Wrongful Convictions In The United States. Retrieved from https://www.law.umich.edu/special/exoneration/Documents/Race_and_Wrongful_Convictions.pdf


 More Readings

Black Men–Not White Guys–Face False Allegations and a Presumption of Guilt

Emmitt Till Accuser Admits To Giving False Testimony At Murder Trial: Book

Emmitt Till Is Murdered

Four Black Men Accused of 1949 Rape of White Women In Florida Are Pardoned

No Jail Time For Texas Teen Who Lied About Rape By Black Men

The Murder of Emmett Till: Killer’s Confession

R. Kelly, Part 2: Black Women and Girls: The Discounted Victims of Sexual Assault

Image result for black women protesting against sexual violence
Source: Atlanta Black Star

Since the first African arrived here (as a slave), Black people,especially Black women and girls have been overly sexualized. Why? We have (for the most part) have bigger thighs, bigger butt, and bigger chest size, than most women. But for some stupid reason people throughout time (especially in this country), people think we’re promiscuous??? Where did people come to THAT conclusion? Sorry we have bigger—assets than most women do.

Our bodies develop much faster and bigger than most girls when undergoing puberty. When I think and look back on time I was a preteen, I was more developed than most my classmates and by the time I was 14 or 16 years old, males young and old were staring at me. Especially the men. I mean…how the hell could they not know I was teenager??? Or what if they knew, but didn’t care?

Unfortunately studies have shown, adults view young Black girls anywhere from the age 5 to 14 are seen as “more sexually mature and know more about adult topics than white girls in the same peer group” (Shapiro, 2017). Now…how adults come that conclusion boggles my mind. It’s sick. How does an adult plug their adulterated mind and assume that a child knows such topics???

Here’s another reason why young Black girls and women (especially young girls) are not taken seriously for sexual assault (Blake, Epstein, & González, n.d):

  • Black girls need less nurturing
  • Black girls need less protection
  • Black girls need to be supported less
  • Black girls need to be comforted less
  • Black girls are more independent
  • Black girls know about adult topics
  • Black girls know more about sex

While this does not surprise me, it also does because I’m actually seeing these . Those bullet points are basically seeing Black girls as adults and not children. Even when we have ambitions–which may sound “adult-like” to others– it could be assumed as threatening (Blake et.al, n.d.). But even if those girls are considered “adults” does that mean it’s okay to turn a blind eye to those “adults” when they need help, because it’s assumed they’re promiscuous and mad and angry???  In turn does that mean, that adults…especially adult Black women aren’t worth protecting either? Tch…But you know what’s worse? The perpetrators of Black girls and Black women don’t even go to jail.

It’s already hard enough to find out that  in general not all rapists will be charged or serve time for rape. Check out the graphs from RAINN below:

Graphic demonstrating that out of 1000 rapes, 994 perpetrators will walk free. Out of every 1,000 rapes, 310 are reported to the police, 57 reports lead to arrest, 13 cases get referred to prosecutors, 7 cases will lead to a felony conviction, 6 rapists will be incarcerated.

Graphic explaining the number of perpetrators of robbery that will serve jail or prison time. The graphic visually contrasts the much lower jail and prison rates for perpetrators of rape. For every 1,000 robberies, 619 are reported to police, 167 reports lead to arrest, 37 cases get referred to prosecutors, 22 cases will lead to a felony conviction, and 20 robbers will be incarcerated.


If you’re still confused by this I’ll explain… So, out of every 1000 rapes, 5 cases will lead to a felony conviction, and about 5 of them will be in jail. This is compared to out of every 1000 robberies, 22 cases will lead to a felony conviction and 20 robbers will be incarcerated. Sad right? Maybe rape should be put under robberies, because

  1. It seems like the judicial system takes it seriously when somebody  loses their belongings.
  2. Afterall, victims of sexual assault are robbed of their identity, safety, innocence, peace (especially inner peace), trust, relationships, etc…

According to “The Body is Not An Apology” website, if a Black woman’s or girl’s assailant is a white male, he is less likely to be convicted of sexual assault, than if the victim was a white woman. Oh and it get’s better….even when a man is found guilty he will still receive shorter sentences than if he were to rape a white woman. So the big question is…is the judicial system encouraging the raping of Black girls and Black women?


R. Kelly, Part 3: David Vs. Goliath: Sexual Assault Victims and Judicial System


Blake, J., Epstein, R., & González,T. (n.d). Girlhood Interrupted: The Erasure of Black Girls’ Childhood. Retrieved from https://www.law.georgetown.edu/poverty-inequality-center/wp-content/uploads/sites/14/2017/08/girlhood-interrupted.pdf

Francis-Favilla, A.G. (2019). “You Are Not Alone:” Uncovering the Dark Secret of Black Women and Sexual Abuse. Retrieved from https://thebodyisnotanapology.com/magazine/a-dark-secret-sexual-assault-african-american-women/

RAINN. (2019). The Criminal Justice System: Statistics. Retrieved from https://www.rainn.org/statistics/criminal-justice-system

Shapiro, T. (2017). Study: Black girls viewed as “less innocent” than white girls. Retrieved from, https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/study-black-girls-viewed-as-less-innocent-than-white-girls/2017/06/27/3fbedc32-5ae1-11e7-a9f6-7c3296387341_story.html?utm_term=.6ec8391da115

R. Kelly: Intro

Image result for r kelly
Source: People

How R.Kelly it’s “surprising” that society realizes he’s a pedophile is beyond me. I mean for starters, he’s been off and on the news on how he is basically holding a harem of young girls and women. And…and the infamous short lived marriage he had with the late Aaliyah when she was 15 years old.

Image result for aaliyah
Source: NYULocal

I miss her and her music. She would have been 40 years old this year.


Image result for aaliyah at 15
                    Aaliyah when she was 15 years old.                       Source: UrbanCafe

This slick pedophile has eluded facing the consequences of hurting his victims. You might say, “Well we separate his personal life from his talent.” Well you know what? I call bs. Why? ‘Cause talent, money, and power shouldn’t excuse the maltreatment of other people. Especially when are young, Black women/girl. So what is going on??? Why hasn’t he been put in jail with all the evidence, including the victims who have come out to report him? I have an idea:

  • A failed judicial system
  • The lack of reports and/or empathy toward Black women and young girls who are victims of sexual assault
  • Misconception of rape reports
  • Victim Shaming
  • Sexual Grooming

The following topics I brought up will be posted into 6 parts. These parts will also tie into how R. Kelly has manipulated his victims and why the system does not believe victims, especially on how and why Black women/girls are not believed and how the judicial system fails them.


R. Kelly, Part 2: Black Women and Girls: The Discounted Victims of Sexual Assault