Again I’ve been MIA. I haven’t been much in the mood to write. Well…it doesn’t help that I’ve been worrying about paying my rent and that my new job has been giving me 4-7 hours a week. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the job, I just don’t like the hours.
Then not too long ago, I met my psychologist and I told her that while the additional anxiety medicine helped reduce my anxiety, my focus still needed work. I couldn’t stand still…always fiddling with my fingers and my hands…this couldn’t just be anxiety. There are moments when I don’t always have that “impending doom” feeling that often comes with anxiety. So what the heck was it?
My psych suspected I might have ADHD. For a sec, I was skeptical because I didn’t want to feel she was giving me meds just she can make an easy profit from my insurance. However, she referred me to one of her colleagues that specializes in ADHD testing. Though after that referral, I found she WAS legit.
About a week later, I meet the ADHD specialist and he interviewed me, fill out an assessment and take a computer test. That all happened in 45 mins, but man I was tired! I felt like my head was spinning.
Then a week after seeing the specialist, my psych told me that I had combined ADHD. Huh…that’s new…never heard of that. Basically combined ADHD is a combination of both…well…the Hyperactive/Impulsive ADHD and Inattentive ADHD. After that…surprise, I began doing research, just to double check if the diagnosis was true. The ability to become easily confused…becoming easily distracted…having difficulty following through on tasks or assignments, losing or forgetting things and events, fidgeting or squirming, talking nonstop, being impatient, saying inappropriate things without thinking and being unable to remain seated too long periods of time. Holy crap! I DO have ADHD!
Knowing about my diagnosis helped me to answer all the questions to my quirks and learn how to better live with them. Living with it is tough as an adult, because the symptoms of ADHD are seen to others as the immature actions of a child. And when you have to work and take on other responsibilities, it can get in the way of being an effective adult. In fact, that’s where I see the symptoms of ADHD show up the most…at work. I talk too much during work and I get over excited (especially when I talk to the kids who share the same interests as I do), and I get bored easily. It’s gotten me into trouble a couple times and I don’t wish to get into any more trouble. The medication I’m now taking has helped me be able to focus a lot more now and help me to better priories. Not to mention in addition to another anti-anxiety medication I’m taking, it’s helping me to better control my anxiety. I have more confidence in pursing the things, especially the responsibilities that I need to do, just like any adult.
However,she has made some tweaks with medication regimen, because she put me on Ritalin (used for ADHD) and one of the symptoms it helps with is anxiety. Next, she took me off one of the two anti-anxiety medications I’ve been taking. She also reduced the dosage of my anti-depressant. The last thing she did was to also get a baseline of my high blood pressure, because one of the side effects of Ritalin is high blood pressure. My psychiatrist took my blood pressure, so that the next time time I see her, she’d see if it’s changed.
At end, I believe this newly found diagnosis will help me with is to encourage kids with ADHD and try to be a role model, because even I know from my own experience growing up how children with ADHD can be perceived. So yeah I don’t see this diagnosis as a bad thing but as another way to better get acquainted with myself and to help students with ADHD. It took a long time coming finding this out, but better late than never.