You Are Good The Way You Are?

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Cyber Bullying

cyber-bullying-photo

Wow…it feels good to back! Well… at least for a while, I start school again next week, but three weeks from now, I’ll be back here again.

Another reason why I haven’t been back, because last month I experienced cyberbullying. Yes…I experienced it. It was awful! Usually, I avoid posts on views I don’t agree with. However, there are those knuckleheads that occasionally will come to my social feeds with views that are well…how do I put it…ridiculous.

But on my personal facebook page, I saw something that triggered my experiences as an Uber driver and as sexual assault survivor. You know how Facebook has ads or random posts, you know,  based on the posts you’ve “liked” from your friends or sites you follow? Well there was a post on a  Black”comedian” posing as an Uber driver, driving a white woman and her black friend. This guy mind you, wasn’t EVEN good looking, objectifiying the white girl and demeaning the Black girl. Now I’m not saying even if the guy was good looking what he said would have been good,  because by no means necessary it would have been. But c’mon man…be humble. That’s usually a head turn for most real woman…at least for me anyway.

Outraged by this, I made a comment on the video.  I wasn’t hoping to change nothing, just putting my view of it, but the “Alpha” males of facebook came to attack me! They were pissed! I wasn’t even attacking them personally! That was the weirdest thing. There were some of the comments they said:

  • “She’s just an angry single mother” Hahaha! I’m not a single mother! Just because I’m a Black woman doesn’t mean I’m a single mother! Hahaha!
  • “You’re taking the video too seriously. It’s meant to be funny.” The guy who said that, had a picture of a young girl as his profile pic and as I looked into this Facebook page, he had pictures standing and smiling next to a young girl. I don’t know if it was his niece or daughter. So, I told him this…“It looks like you have a little girl you love very much. How would you like it if some guy made your little girl feel like this when she grows up? Would you think it would be funny then?” I didn’t hear from him since.
  • “Aw man! Another feminist who has bad spelling and grammar, but yet tells me how “bad” of a guy I am.” I was already pissed at all the comments coming at me while typing on my iphone, my spelling and grammar are of course going to get bad. And with that, I told him, “One, if I had oh-so ‘bad spelling and grammar’ then how did you understand what I was writing? And two, I wasn’t EVEN talking about you. And three, YOU called yourself  out as being a “horrible” man, so I guess you really are one.” And I didn’t hear from him either.
  • “I don’t know why you’re taking the video so seriously, but if it offended you, I’m sorry.” What kind of half-assed apology is that??? No, shit Sherlock, it did! How the woman were made to feel…I’ve been there. That video is what women experience in real life!

There was one comment that  caught me off guard, especially this coming from a Black man:

  • “Go kill yourself.” So I told him this, “You give Black men…no…Black people a bad name. Talk about Black on Black crime.”

What possesses people to say shit like that? That guy I wanna say was in his early twenties and I know now days that what kids say to each other when they HATE someone. I’m so glad I grew up in the 90s. But don’t get me wrong…that hurt. I ended up calling a local RAINN hotline. I’m glad I did.

It’s already enough I felt that my sexual assaulter violated my trust and my body, but I feel like I can’t trust anybody. I mean the nastiness that people say on the internet they would NEVER say in real life. They couldn’t because they know the backlash they would face from society. But I’m terrified to say ANYTHING to anyone especially men when I drive for Uber. The men I encountered on Facebook were verbally abusive men. Some of them were the typical douchebag men and some looked like men who “looked” like good guys.  I feel a little bit more afraid to speak my mind against “sexual assault” and “mental health”, because of the nastiness that exists out in the internet and in real life. Even here in my own blog.

I don’t even get any support on the things I stand for! I mean, even though people “liked” my comments, NOONE but one woman stood up for me during those tirades of men harrassing me. My family basically said it was my fault for I got cyberbullying by putting up my comment. While yes I stay say safe by not engaging in such posts, why should it be my fault??? Who taught  people that it’s okay to blame victims for their circumstances? That it’s their fault for not being “careful”??? People who haven’t been in or recognized and/or accepted their own pain….that’s who. Society… oi….