I’m so glad! Student teaching is done! I just turned in my last papers, I can breathe in these last two weeks, before starting another student teaching assignment in the beginning of next year.
It’s been a tough 10 weeks struggling with student teaching, going to school myself and looking for work. In fact, right now I’m trying to see if I can fight to keep a roof over my head. Not working for Uber has had an impact on my finances, mostly because of what happened back in August. Oh! To make it better, I was harassed again! I’ll tell you in another post. So all dealing with my stress and oh wait…I ran out of my pills my anxiety and depressive pills. Luckily, I refilled them. I’m hoping Ill make more money again to fill them up again in the next month.
I love teaching, but sometimes I worry….will I be able to manage my illness and teach. My anxiety disorder can leave me scatterbrained and my depression can leave me distant from all my responsibilities. So, I’m hoping my passion for teaching and working with kids will keep me from succumbing to it. Then again it’s my first time teaching, so maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on myself? I just want to be a really good teacher, irregardless of my mental illness. I’m more than my illness at least that’s what I try to tell myself. I don’t want stress and depress myself about this new career path I’m going on: “Do I have enough experience?” “Will I get an interview?” “Will I not get a job offer because I’m Black?”,”Will I get hired before, during or a little after I finish my program?” “Will I work for Uber forever???” Just so many thoughts and fears rushing rushing up and across my mind. I’m trying not to in a sense meditate on those thoughts. I want to instead mediate on the awesomeness that makes me, me.